I Love You, Let’s Meet

It IS still cold, in New York anyway. I don’t know about in Pakistan.

that’s my Dr. Ruth imitation. Good on J-Date for landing her. I fear she will be dismayed by the inhumanity, or if that’s too melodramatic, the chilliness of online dating

I think the tendency of these two types of pond scum to mate just cleans up the dating pool for normal people.

May their soulless unions thrive!

pretty reasonable tips overall, but do we really want profile advice from Ronald Reagan? The guy was borderline incoherent; calling him the Great Communicator was like calling Nixon likable or Bush II an intellectual.

And I guess it makes sense to “test your picture on hotornot” but what if you’re not hot? Airbrush? Use someone else’s picture?

I also like that they say to avoid cliches “like the plague.”

Enough bitchiness for the day. TTFN

OK, Canada apparently has extra women. (as does the East Coast of the U.S.; more dudes out West.)

Meanwhile, I’d guess that the new nerd site has more guys.

So, DUH! Canadian ladies, write the geeks. Geeks, write the lady Canucks.

My work here is done.

oh, and what a coincidence, I’ll be a guest in July!

“Your trash is someone else’s treasure” seems a little harsh, but the yenta urge is one I always encourage.

Whenever one suggests handing off a guy, the yentee’s first question is of course, “So why didn’t you want him?” But maybe another way to approach it is to look at all the great couples you know. Would you necessarily mesh with your gender-appropriate half of that couple? And if not, does that make him a bad prospect? Thank you, I rest my case.

JRetro is trumpeting this “new development” a little too excitedly: My friends and I have been forwarding each other profiles for years. Even gentiles do this.

this hilarious press release does make you ponder that one, accidental marriage, doesn’t it?

Virginia talks to Women Aloud in its April 13, 2007, edition.

P.S. [from VV]: Mo and Shana are great hosts, my most fun radio interviewers yet.

My competition for online dating talking head status gives women tips in the form of blame. He first directs women not to believe anything a man says on a date. He also gives contradictory advice in two of the steps — contact men, we love that, says #8; only go for men who are searching for you says #4. This is the guy I paid for online dating advice — for book research — who told me to lie.

I was struck by the first one, number ten, though, because I’d been talking with gal pals about the way men say “I’ll call you” when they mean “I won’t call you,” often embellishing with all kinds of unnecessary enthusiasm about future dates and how much they hope to see you, etc. And we do all wonder, Why do guys do that? We maybe weren’t even expecting another date until the guy started having, as a woman in my book put it about a guy who’d told her he’d fix her leaky sink and never called again, “a happy imaginary moment.” I’m not talking about the vague “let’s talk” or “see you later” that we’ve all done rather than say “I don’t ever want to see you again,” I mean really talking up those future interactions that won’t happen with enough oomph that we move from getting “this is the end of it” to thinking “well, I thought this was the end of it, but he’s acting so excited, maybe I was wrong.”
I would be interested in hearing from men who generally don’t lie but who do this. My theory is that men believe that they must keep the woman feeling safe, happy, wooed, courted NO MATTER WHAT and so they say whatever they think she wants to hear while they’re in her presence. But I don’t really know. I wonder at what point you who do this know or admit to yourselves that your words aren’t true. Do you mean it when you say it? Do you feel you need to be kind to be cruel? Is it connected with guilt (particularly in a post-sleepover-date context)?

Finally, I must give credit for my headline to this old issue of National Lampoon making fun of Cosmopolitan magazine. Their fake-article was titled “He Lies, He Cheats, He Steals — What You’re Doing Wrong!” My other fave from that fake cover was “Is There Mustard On Your Head? A Quiz.”