Comments on: “Genuine and trustworthy” more butch than “Warm and kind” http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/ Adventures in Online Dating Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:06:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: virginia http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-757 virginia Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:56:11 +0000 http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/#comment-757 Good points all. Though I think "kind" can slip through in a very unostentatious, unsalesmanlike way, usually obliquely, e.g., the guy trying to impress you is kind to someone else without calling attention to it. (Trustworthy really does need to be proved over time, no way around that.) And I will grant that women are socialized/taught to project "warm and kind" with less self-consciousness; a boy is likelier to get mocked for effusiveness and learn to project something cooler. But I'm still am very drawn to men who seem kind, maybe even more so because it goes with a freethinking sort of unself-consciousness. Good points all. Though I think “kind” can slip through in a very unostentatious, unsalesmanlike way, usually obliquely, e.g., the guy trying to impress you is kind to someone else without calling attention to it. (Trustworthy really does need to be proved over time, no way around that.)

And I will grant that women are socialized/taught to project “warm and kind” with less self-consciousness; a boy is likelier to get mocked for effusiveness and learn to project something cooler. But I’m still am very drawn to men who seem kind, maybe even more so because it goes with a freethinking sort of unself-consciousness.

]]> By: kmcleod http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-756 kmcleod Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:37:04 +0000 http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/#comment-756 Since "trustworthy" only stands up to behavioral evidence as much as "warm and kind" does, you're back to square one. Since “trustworthy” only stands up to behavioral evidence as much as “warm and kind” does, you’re back to square one.

]]> By: Anne http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-755 Anne Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:00:52 +0000 http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/#comment-755 What I mean is, it has nothing to do with masculinity for me. The untrusting part of me sometimes suspects warm and kind is a sales ploy. What I mean is, it has nothing to do with masculinity for me. The untrusting part of me sometimes suspects warm and kind is a sales ploy.

]]> By: Anne http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-754 Anne Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:59:35 +0000 http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/#comment-754 If I had to pick trustworthy vs. warm and kind, I'd take trustworthy. Snake oil salesmen are warm and kind. If I had to pick trustworthy vs. warm and kind, I’d take trustworthy. Snake oil salesmen are warm and kind.

]]> By: Steve http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-752 Steve Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:23:09 +0000 http://virginiavitzthum.com/ilylm/2008/04/14/genuine-and-trustworthy-more-butch-than-warm-and-kind/#comment-752 Virginia; I believe that women want warm and kind men. I also think women want the whole package. They want warmth, kindness AND men who they see as men. Masculine, strong. Virginia;

I believe that women want warm and kind men. I also think women want the whole package. They want warmth, kindness AND men who they see as men. Masculine, strong.

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